What if Russia did Release a Pee Tape?

First, Trumpers would deny it was real

Then they’d say it was part of Trump’s plan to get Putin to trust him, revealing how far Trump would go because he loves America so much

Then they’d say it’s nobody’s business what Trump likes

Then there would a huge increase in demand for Russian mail order brides, especially in Alabama, Arizona, and Texas

So Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to release the pee tape. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our lonely conservative gentlemen