Para Español, marque el numero dos.

A good guy who I know just sent me one of those jingoistic emails complaining about the fact that some people in this country speak Spanish. I once worked with someone for a couple of years who would complain about anyone, even coworkers, who spoke Spanish better than English. But one day, I found that her grandfather had been living in this country for years without ever learning English. He was German. In her mind, any language commonly spoken by white people was as good as English.

I don’t think the good guy who I referred to in the first sentence is a racist (the woman with the German grandfather was), but I do think he is getting caught up in a fever that racists are intensifying. People who don’t speak English well have been an important part of this country for generations. And I’d be a fool not to admit that they’ve been treated like shit for generations. But it was never righteous, and lately there’s been a special wide-spread animosity towards Spanish speakers.

Lady Liberty stands in the harbor welcoming the tired, the poor, the homeless and the tempest-tost. She doesn’t demand that they take English as a Second Language before fleeing the poverty, imprisonment, or death that awaits them in their home countries. Many people who complain about Spanish today have descended from people who didn’t speak English, or at least not very well, before arriving at our shores. And the fact that English isn’t this land’s native language is a whole other topic.

I agree that people who make it to our great country should learn English. And most do. But people who get upset about the two or three seconds it takes to wait through the phrase “para Español marque el numero dos” are barking up the wrong tree.

Corporations, like Lowes, don’t offer “el numero dos” because of a left wing pro-immigration agenda, and they’re not being forced to speak Spanish by the Obama administration. They offer “dos” because they want to sell their stuff to more people, and some of their customers are more comfortable with Spanish than English.

When people complain about Walmart’s neighborhood-killing tactics, MacDonald’s oppressive employment policies, Smithfield’s cruelty to animals, or Stanly’s outsourcing, the right wing gets up in their asses about interfering with the free market. But when the same companies try to make more money by appealing to more customers, the same wingnuts start calling for laws against conducting business in any language but English.

Government agencies speak different languages because they have work to do and it wouldn’t make sense to limit their ability to do their jobs just to make a jingoistic statement. Even wingnuts wouldn’t expect the police to follow an English-only policy. Other agencies also have work to do. That might be hard for you to imagine if you feel that any government function other than rounding people up or killing them is socialism, but it’s true.

I want to explain my use of the term “more comfortable” (three paragraphs up). I’m not trying to find a PC way to say “They don’t speak English”. The fact is, most immigrants do speak English. I have several Spanish speaking coworkers. They are all hard working American taxpayers, and they all speak English. But a few of the guys speak Spanish better. If I could speak Spanish ( and I’ve been trying ), I would sometimes use Spanish for clarity. And I would still expect them to continue to improve their English.

For the most part, you don’t have to press 1 for English anymore. You just have to not press 2. But people still complain. Perhaps they’re afraid of accidentally pressing “2″ and then not understanding the instructions on how to get back to English. If that happens, don’t panic. Just hang up and call again.

English is this country’s language. Acting as if pressing “dos” is a threat to our English speaking tradition is as silly as acting like same-sex marriages will make us all turn gay.

Spanish is a non-issue that has been built up by the Right to drive a wedge through this country. It doesn’t hurt you in any way if signs are in English and Spanish. It might effect you if signs were in Spanish only, and I might be willing to consider a policy that would address that. But we’re not there yet. For now, the only problem with Spanish is that some people get angry when they hear or see it. And that anger is being used as a political tool by people who think it’s to their advantage to drum up hate in this country.

I’ve worked with people who don’t speak English well. They work; they pay taxes; and many of them are in uniform defending this country. Some of them annoy me by waving flags of the countries that they left and not doing more to become part of our society, but most seem to love and respect the United States far more that many native born Americans who take for granted the freedom and prosperity of our nation. We get strength from our Foreign born citizens. They give us new technology, expand our thinking, and are important military assets. And they left their homes so they can be Americans. Like new people everywhere, they don’t speak the language as well as those who have been here longer. Business want to compete for their money by speaking their language. Do the American thing and let them.

Drats!

Looks like I’ve lost another battle in the war on Christmas.

But the war is not over! I’ll get Christmas yet!

And Marriage too!

Blah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !

Blah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !

An Error by Proxy

After criticizing the wingnut faction, in a Sasha by Proxy post, for not doing ten minutes of fact checking, I noticed an error in my original post. I corrected the error with an update. Fortunately, the discovery of the error doesn’t nullify my main point, but the error was significant, and it’s embarrassing to acknowledge such an error in a post that slams other people for their mistakes.

Even before I discovered the error (which I did on my own after some post-post fact-checking), I had toned down the language from my original post. I had some errands to do after publishing the original, but while I was out I was regretting the use of the word “idiot” in one sentence. I’m far more creative with my derogatory nouns and adjectives while I’m at the keyboard than I am in real life. When I finally got back to make the change, I noticed that I had not only used the word in one sentence, I also included “idiocy” and “idiotic” in two other places. I made the changes, but decided to keep the word “nonsense”, and some other unflattering language in place, because that’s what the War On Christmas nonsense is. Believing the nonsense doesn’t necessarily make you an idiot. Maybe you just need to do more fact-checking. I plan to continue using the word “wingnuts” for people who use lies, errors, and distortions to support certain ideas, including the idea that it’s wrong, or anti-American to respect the wonderful diversity of this great nation.

The reason I published that post on Sasha by Proxy is it was Sasha who purchased the GPS receiver (I like getting lost), and Sasha who told me about the Best Buy controversy. She made the comment about how, after Thanksgiving, no-one is allowed to acknowledge any holiday other than Christmas. Based on that, I did some quick fact-checking and wrote the post. Obviously, my fact-checking was a bit too quick.

My After-Thanksgiving post

I didn’t write a Thanksgiving post because I was too busy (aka lazy) to think one up. But my daughter did. We have been building a house for what seems like forever, but despite the fact that she has spent most of her teenage years in a temporary living situation, and despite the amount of time taken up by school and her job, she managed to find time to scrabble together a list of things to be thankful for. She even included the trailer that she lives in because it’s better than the trailer she was living in before.

So, a little late, I’ll take my turn. I am a father who is not only thankful for, and proud of his amazing daughter, but inspired by her. I feel like a gardener who never fussed over the soil or kept up on the watering as well as he should have, but somehow ended up with a garden that is the talk of the town. If people asked me what my secret was, I would only say “Don’t do too much; let it grow on it’s own and hope for the best.”

I am thankful that my son, who despite living through, and with, a surprising amount of unfortunate conditions, is doing as well as he is doing. It his for his privacy that I won’t write more, not a lack of appreciation.

I am thankful for my wife, who has led me along an unusual path as I whined and complained every step of the way. Sasha has exposed me to ideas and experiences that have made me a better person. Despite the unfinished house, I can look out at thirty acres of farmland and trees and say “holy shit, those are My Trees!” Perhaps not impressive to many, but for most of my life, I didn’t expect to own my surroundings beyond, perhaps, a twenty foot radius. It it’s not just the “ownership” that I’m thankful for, but the sense of purpose it gives me. These trees and this farm is our attempt to make a difference; to get people to acknowledge their wealth and to appreciate and care about the sources of their food and possessions.

And to my family; My mother and father and others who have passed; and my sister, her family, and my aunt. These were and are compassionate, and righteous people who laid the groundwork for who I am today. And I was not a very easy child to raise. I should do better to keep in touch.

Here, in rural Virginia, in a city and surrounding area that I often disparage with snide remarks, I have met the most fascinating people. My friends help when they’re busy and accept me despite my shortcomings and idiosyncrasies. I have been to many dinners and holiday gatherings in the homes of my friends, who patiently wait while I plod along with my half-assed effort to finish my house so I can eventually return the favors. My friends can put together a party and have, at that party, war-fighters and peace marchers; preachers and atheists; technicians and cowboys; and me, all coming together to share ideas and enjoy each-other’s company.

Such an amazing life. I have so much to be thankful for.

Reaganofilia

A recent article by Paul Krugman and a Follow up bring back to my mind one of the most bizarre examples of self-deceit common among Americans, and that is Reaganofilia.

Despite doubling the national dept (or tripling it, as some claim), Reagan was a fiscal conservative.
Despite the disaster in Beirut, Reagan was a great military leader.
Despite trying to bribe our enemies by sending them arms, Reagan was a stalwart, uncompromising, negotiator.
Despite being the only divorced president, he was a champion of family values (had McCain won, we would have had two divorced family values champions) .

Before the terrorist bombing in Beirut, Ronald Reagan ignored the advise of his experts by putting our troops in a vulnerable position, then took sides in a foreign civil war when we were supposed to be keeping the peace. We eventually withdrew from that position but only after being attacked by suicide bombers, thus sending the message that suicide attacks are an effective tool for fighting American interests. Even Dick Cheney acknowledged that Reagan’s withdrawal from Beirut bolstered the confidence of terrorists.

Whatever Reagen did to the economy, we ended up with a huge national debt when he was finished. Some say he grew the economy, others say he only grew the gap between rich and poor. Either way, there was a huge debt to pay, and Reagan handed the bill to future presidents.

Not everything Ronald Reagan did was disastrous, and he did some good things. But he doesn’t deserve the idol status that he has among conservatives.

And yet his idolized. I know someone who has a twelve inch Reagan doll on his desk. I know someone who has his autographed picture on his wall. We’re constantly hearing about a return to “Reagan style” economics or “Reagan style” leadership. Politicians are praised with phrases like “true Reagan conservative”.

Bill Clinton is admired similarly by his worshipers. I disagree with even my wife concerning the Clinton/Lewinsky affair. I believe that Clinton’s actions were reprehensible, and that he betrayed his country, not just his wife. I don’t believe that uncovering those actions was worth the expense and the derailing of our national agenda, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t reprehensible. But Clinton’s admirers understand his achievements, failures, and misdeeds and take the bad with the good. Reagan’s admirers seem to have invented a mythical legend, based on a real person, to be the object of their affection.

I can think of three reasons.

First, like John Wayne, he looked and acted tough.

The effects of appearance over substance should not be underestimated. In a country where we spend our family’s future wealth to drive around in a vehicles that make us look more powerful, spend that same wealth on clothing to make us look more sophisticated, and dump toxic chemicals on our own front lawns to make us look neater, we really like to look good. And in our playground mentality, “good” means “tough”. Reagan sure did look tough standing at the Berlin wall.

Second, he made the rich richer.

Reagan cut taxes for the rich and raised the payroll tax, actually raising the tax burden for many middle and low income workers ( Yes! Jeez! He Raised Taxes! ). The fact that Reagan’s policies were good for those who are already rich was even more important than the fact that Reagan looked tough. A tremendous amount of financing went into lobbying and advertising to convince citizens that a do-nothing government which allows the corporate leaders and money brokers to do whatever they like is in the best interest of its people. They carefully crafted a false association between restrictions on corporate activity with restrictions on personal freedom, even while promoting policies that actually do restrict personal freedom. They made members of the middle class feel that taxes on the rich will take money out of their pockets, and they convinced people that poverty is caused only by laziness, and has nothing to do with the fact that corporations keep finding ways of doing business with fewer and fewer American workers while muscling small, American businesses out of the market.

The third reason Ronald Reagan is so idolized is that his calls for a tax-free do-nothing government were appealing.

I call it the Mad-Max fantasy. It’s the idea that in a world without the protection of a so-called nanny-state, only the strong and quick-witted will survive and be free, and that each of us who have that fantasy is among the strong, quick-witted, free survivors. But the fantasy ignores two important facts: First, such a world would be a miserable place. There are, indeed, those who aren’t as smart or as strong but don’t deserve to perish from the scorn and neglect of those around them. Second, the fantasy of a do-nothing government is unsustainable. Power always fills a gap. The weaker the government, the stronger the corporations, and we see that in play as Walmart and other big-box stores gobble up trees, parks, and competition in towns and cities all across America, under the blind eye of a do-nothing government unwilling to protect the natural landscape or support its small business owners.

All this rambling makes it sound like I want the opposite: An overarching nanny state enforcing an abundance of restrictive laws under the guise of protecting its citizens. But this is like the “slippery slope” argument that gun-nuts use to equate taking assault weapons out of the hands of teenagers with government militias breaking into your home and stealing your granddaddy’s old hunting rifle. There’s a lot of shit between “everything” and “nothing” and while I don’t want a tax-free do-nothing government, I also don’t want a dystopic society with an ultra powerful government controlling our every move. What I want is a government that balances my freedom against the freedom of others who, if left unchecked, would take my freedom away. For example, I want a government that protects my right to hunt not just by enacting a meaningless constitutional amendment, but by protecting the land on which I would be able exercise that right. And that means a government that tells big-box corporations that they can’t turn my city into big fucking parking lot through which you can drive from one Walmart to another without seeing a single tree.

As I said, not everything Reagan did was wrong. It’s not wrong to make Americans feel proud of their country. It’s not wrong to call for an end to government waste. It’s not wrong to use military force when needed. But Reaganofiles worship a man that never existed, who caused a lot of damage that he isn’t blamed for, and did some good things that today would be considered “liberal”. It’s disturbing to think that so many people can get something so wrong.

Amateur Novel Writing

Inspired by NaNoWriMo, but not following the rules, I’ve started a novel. I’m having two problems, which I imagine are a very common among amateurs. First, I think I’ve told half of my story in just a few pages, and second, I keep revising the pages I have rather than adding new content.

I have about ten pages written and feel I can complete the story with another ten. It’s hard to imagine beefing up this story to the length of a novel when the entire story could be told, complete with battle scenes and love affairs, with just ten thousand words.

As far as the words that I already have, not only do I keep making little changes, I also keep finding mistakes. I have a scene involving a squad of soldiers with advanced technology. They’re covered, head to toe, in battle armor. Their heads are covered by their helmets and they look at the world through high-tech visors. In this scene, the squad is walking through a hot, humid jungle, and I had this one sentence: “Rane wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.” I must have read the scene over and over twenty times before I realized how stupid that was.

Mnemonic: It’s and Its

“His”, “Hers” and “Its” have no apostrophe.

“He’s”, “She’s” and “It’s” do.

So to help decide where to put the apostrophe, personify the pronoun. If you have a sentence like “It’s going to shed its skin”, use “He’s going to shed his skin”. It’s best to use the male form to keep the trailing “s”, because “Hers” is incorrect in places where “Her” should be used instead.

Using an apostrophe to save the effort of writing a little “i” hardly seems worth all the confusion. But that’s the way it is.

Mnemonic: Daylight Saving Time

March two forward; Knock one back.

DST starts on the second Sunday in March and ends on the first Sunday in November, which leads to the “two” and the “one” in my phrase. “Knock” is a strained mnemonic for November but its the best I can come up with. It’s also reminiscent of Halloween, and the first Sunday in November also happens to be the first Sunday after Halloween. Unfortunately, these start and end times may change someday; they’ve only been in effect since 2007.

As far as remembering if we’re actually changing to DST or from DST, two thoughts should help. The first is that the the old phrase “Spring Forward; Fall Back”, and my new one, are both analogous to DST’s start and end. Spring, or March, is when it starts, Fall, or November, is when it ends.

The second thought is that the name is misleading, since you’d think you’d be “saving” daylight when you don’t have much, like in the winter. In fact, the idea isn’t to save daylight when it’s scarce, but to avoid wasting it when it’s plentiful. We change our clocks in order to wake up earlier with the earlier sunrise. We should have called it “Daylight Using Time”, but unfortunately, I didn’t have a blog back then, so the misleading name stuck.

And remember, it’s “Saving”, not “Savings”.

Freedom Fighters

“You are the most beautiful sight any of us freedom fighters have seen for a long time”, said Michele Bachmann, to a crowd of people carrying a large sign that showed a pile of naked, concentration camp bodies. The visual aide was part of a protest against health care reform. Sure, I see the connection, don’t you?

Of course, it wasn’t actually a “Protest”, it was “Press Conference”.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/05/AR2009110504566.html

NaNo-Light

Three of my friends made posts concerning the National Novel Writing Month. One has been posting for quite some time and her latest post, “Checking Out”, indicates her level of effort towards NaNoWriMo. The other two posted about how they considered participating this year but would not be doing so. I’m with group 2. NaNoWriMo seemed like a great idea until I divided 50,000 by 30 and came up with “No Way”. Perhaps there should a “NaNo-Light” for those who can’t commit to a over a thousand and a half words per day but are still inspired by those that do. I will attempt to draft a novel this month, but I won’t have 50,000 words by December.